Falling off the wagon and going boom!

So, I hurt my back this weekend.  Nothing major, I didn't even go to the doctor.  I just overdid it working outside on Saturday, didn't listen to my body on Sunday and did some more.  By Sunday afternoon, my back was in aching spasms.  I took some ibuprofen and aleve, applied heat and tried to rest.  It's feeling better today, still sore but not so much painful.  So, what does this have to do with a blog about food?  Well, for me it has everything to do with a blog about food.  Why?  Because I use food to deal with things that I don't know how to otherwise deal with; emotions, fatigue, and...you guessed it, pain.  So, I took what was otherwise a good weekend from a food perspective and when my husband offered to buy dinner Sunday night, I threw paleo and all that it's done for me out the window.  I had fried mushrooms and a veggie stromboli.  And, it was good!  Now, if that's where I stopped, it wouldn't be so bad, but after finagling for what felt like forever to get my kids to sleep, I went for a cupcake and ice cream (thanks to my husband that these things are in the house).  I got up this morning, determined to get things back together and had some sausage and applesauce for breakfast, a nice salad with chicken breast for lunch.  Then comes dinner.  My mom was traveling through so I met her for dinner at Cracker Barrel.  Now, as far as paleo goes, its not the best option, but it's a long way from the worst.  I'm hooked on their grilled chicken tenderloins, but couldn't resist ordering some fried apples and hashbrown casserole.  I rounded the whole thing off with 2 biscuits.  I refuse to beat myself up over this, and I fully intend to "hop back on the wagon" tomorrow morning (actually tonight, no more bad snacks), but what I realized is how easily I could slip back into my old patterns.  I read somewhere that it takes about 3 weeks to form a new habit.  That's as scientific as I'm going to get because I'm not up for researching it right now...so you get an "I read this somewhere, sometime, maybe?".  So, theoretically following my 30 day challenge some of my old habits should be broken.  But for me, my self sabotaging ways are lying in wait.  They might get easier to control, but I'm not sure they will ever go away.  I don't think I will ever be able to not think about what I'm eating.  And, maybe that's ok.  Maybe, some day I can find a way to make it work to my advantage.

30 Day Challenge Results

Sunday officially ended my first 30 days of paleo.  I wanted to share with you the ups, downs, and results. So, I'll start with what everyone looks for...results:  I have lost 13 lbs since beginning my paleo journey.  I'm pretty stoked about this, didn't expect that amount.  I didn't take measurements prior to beginning my new lifestyle, so I can't provide an update on inches lost.  I haven't hit the point of dropping a clothing size yet, but I can definitely tell a difference in the fit of my clothing.  Clothes fit more loosely and more comfortably, but for now, I'm still holding on to my size 22 clothing.  So, how has the last month been?  Well, it's not been as difficult as I thought it might be.  I find that I actually do better with a do and don't list of foods instead of counting calories or points.  Now, I know that's not true for everyone.  There are people who as soon as you say, don't eat refined sugar...that's all they want; hershey's, candy, cake, etc.  But, I think I've approached this transition a little differently than in the past.  I am allowing myself to make mistakes, it's ok if things don't go perfectly.  I'm trying, I won't let my one mistake turn into "Oh, well, I might as well eat this pizza since I slipped and had that muffin this morning."  I'm trying to take my own advice about self judgement and be a little kinder to myself.  It's not about perfection, it's about doing better, feeling better, making progress.  I saw something that said it doesn't matter how slow you are moving as long as you are making progress.  There's some truth in that.  I know at this point I am making forward progress.  The biggest challenge for me was giving up the sodas.  I've already written about that.  I finally feel I have control over my soda cravings.  I even bought a Dr Pepper yesterday.  Took 2 sips (probably 2 or 3 ounces) and threw the rest away.  Again, it's not perfection, but that's definitely some progress.  It's only the second soda I've purchased since starting Paleo and that's pretty impressive to me.  I expected it to be difficult to give up dairy, but that transition hasn't been too bad.  I love drinking milk but have transitioned to almond milk without much issue.  I drink lots of water and do lots of meal planning.  That's probably one of the most difficult adjustments for me is taking time to plan my meals, leaving a meal until last minute is like asking for disaster.  And in my small town, Lara bars, almond butter, and even many fresh vegetables aren't available so a grocery trip to a health food store in Greensboro is required.  So, I'm getting adjusted.  I even turned down yeast rolls from Logan's at a work dinner last night.  Steak, veggies, and a salad doesn't sound too bad, right?

July 2013- 264 lbs

 August 2013-251 lbs

Sleepy dust

So, paleo isn't just about food.  It's about stress and...sleep.  Let me tell you, I am a girl who loves my sleep.  My mom used to joke that I could go to sleep anywhere, and a part of me is still like that today.  I prefer a dark, cool room free of noise and distraction, but get me tired enough and I will go out like a light.  I guess I'm lucky in that I've never been one who has a lot of trouble going to sleep.  Typically, I can fall asleep pretty quickly.  Even if I am a little distracted, a chapter in a book and I will be out, but despite this, I don't get enough sleep.  See, I have these two little miniature people who like to keep me from sleeping.  I have a three year old that still doesn't sleep through the night.  On a good night, she just wakes once for something to drink.  Other nights, she has active dreams and is calling out in her sleep.  My 18 month old sleeps better, but is still nursing and wakes whenever her sister wakes up.  Throw in allergies with coughs, teething, and just bad nights, and this momma doesn't get much rest.  On vacation last week, there was a night when I only got 3 hours of sleep.  The 18 month old was sick and I didn't get her down for a good sleep until after 5am.  The 3 year old was up at about 7:45.  But, this is life.  This is my reality.  And, I know that some day I will miss parts of this reality.  It already amazes me how quickly my girls are growing up.  Paleo recommends getting 8 to 9 hours of sleep every night, not waking up with an alarm clock, but as the sun comes up and you wake naturally.  That sounds fantastic!  Unfortunately, for me, it's not feasible.  So, here's what I can do and what I choose to do.  No more staying up late for no real reason, set a bedtime and stick to it.  Keep a regular bedtime routine both for myself and for my girls.  Keep the bedroom dark, free of electronics (can't get my husband to let go of that pesky TV in the bedroom, but can keep it off), quiet, and relaxing.  So, for those who have trouble sleeping, what is it that keeps you up?  My husband is one who starts making to-do lists when he lays down at night.  It often keeps him up for some time.  There are ways to let go of those things, make a written list, do some deep breathing, count sheep (hey, sometimes the monotony works!), or do some relaxation exercises.  I have practiced some relaxation techniques before going to bed in the past.  There is one where you start at your feet, clinching the muscles tightly and letting go, working your way up to your head, with the goal being that you fall asleep before reaching your head.  There's a similar practice of focusing on each body part and imagining it getting heavier and heavier until it sinks into the mattress.  This one is also intended to start at the feet and work up to the head with the goal being to fall asleep before finishing.  How do you do it?  Do you need to unwind before going to bed, or can you just "hit the sack"?

Self judgement

I saw a facebook post recently where a mom was being rough on herself for needing a c-section instead of having a natural birth.  It made me start thinking about how we think about ourselves, the judgement we place on ourselves compared to others.  I try not to place judgement on others.  I feel like we can't say what it is we would or wouldn't do until we walk a mile in another's shoes.  There was a time in my life I would have been homeless if it hadn't been for the grace of my family, with support from my parents church.  It wasn't because I was lazy, or didn't care.  It was because of a series of bad decisions.  And, as Maya Angelou says, "When you know better, you do better".  So here's the thing, I would never look at a woman and tell her she is less than because she had to have a c-section, can't breastfeed, etc.  And yet, when I had to be induced with my first daughter, I felt like I should have done something different, like the mothers that were able to wait for natural birth were "better than" me.  It's really amazing how cruel we can be to ourselves.  As a mother, I'm always wondering if I am making the right choices, wondering if I am good enough.  What I do know is that I love my girls and I'm doing my best for them.  The same self judgement is true related to other aspects of life, specifically, in my case, related to my weight.  I would never look at a woman who is obese and think, "What's wrong with her?  Why can't she just stop eating?  She must be a lazy slob."  Never, ever would I place that judgement on someone else, and yet I've said those things to myself time and time again.  Perhaps, we should start trying to treat ourselves with the kindness we grant others, with more compassion, less judgement.  Perhaps, if we could do this, we will not only be happier and even healthier, but we will revolutionize the attitudes of our daughters so that they will feel strong and empowered instead of feeling like they are "less than".

Sodas as addictive as cocaine?

So, I saw an article on facebook the other day, that I didn't hold on to, talking about how addictive high fructose corn syrup is.  This particular study was looking at rat's behavior and I can't find that information, but I did find some other articles that I will share with you.  I know there are people who can have a soda on occasion and step away from it without a problem.  I am not that person.  I will go out of my way to get my hands on a soda.  When it wasn't regular, it was diet.  It didn't matter that it didn't really taste that good, it was something I just had to have.  The more stressed I was, the more tired I was, the more I wanted a soda to drink.  Sounds like an addiction, huh?  I've tried giving up soda before only to crash and burn!  I even tried giving soda up for lent 2 years ago and failed.  How does that feel?  As a symbol of what Jesus gave up for you on the cross, you give up something for 6 weeks and I couldn't do it.  So, transitioning to paleo and giving up sodas was a HUGE deal for me.  But, I did it.  I stepped away from sodas and I'm trying not to look back.  I stopped one day and had a 12oz Dr Pepper.  It made me nauseated for about an hour.  For me, like an addict, I can't touch a soda.  I feel like if I do, I'll be back to drinking several a day in no time.  Anyone else struggle with soda's like this?

Could drinking coke be more addictive than snorting it?

Diet soda as bad for teeth as meth?

HCFS as addictive as cocaine

So, how did I finally do it?  A lot of willpower, a lot of water, and a lot of tea!  My husband jokes about how much tea I have been drinking, but it's almost unsweet (1/4 cup of sugar/gallon) and I need something to drink other than water.  I'll eventually move to completely unsweet tea, but right now it's still just a little too bitter.  I've just started drinking some hot tea again this week too.  I had forgotten how much I enjoy a good cup of hot tea.  Bengal Spice is one of my favorites, along with blueberry green tea, and jasmine.

Why now?

So, the other question that comes to mind is why now?  What's different?  While working on my walking, I started having pains in my legs, down the outside of the calf.  I ultimately decided my shoes were possibly to blame and decided I needed some help getting some new shoes.  I went to a store called Off'n Running in Greensboro to get some help fitting my shoes.  Now, please understand the courage I had to work up just to go into a running store at my size and ask for help.  I've got to give props to the store and the guy who helped me.  He was kind and professional and never once made me feel like I shouldn't have been looking for shoes there.  What I learned that day is that instead of pronating my feet, like most people do, I supinate and walk on the outside edges of my feet.  Because I had high arches, I've always looked for shoes with a big arch support.  By doing this, I was pushing my feet out even further to the side, causing an excessive stretch on the muscles and causing the pain.  We went through a variety of shoes and I ended up with a Brooks Dyad 7 shoe.  It's probably the most comfortable pair of tennis shoes I've had in years.  So, what does all of this have to do with starting Paleo?  As part of the process to figure out what kind of shoes I needed, I walked to the front of the store and back and the guy working there videotaped me.  We were looking at my walking pattern, which is seriously messed up.  Instead of bending my knees and pushing off like a typical gait pattern, I use a very atypical pattern that is almost like I'm ice skating or gliding.  My feet are turned outward (which I actually already knew).  When I watched myself walking that day, I knew that it was time.  It's strange how you know that there's a problem, but then one day, you see something in a picture, a video, the mirror that gives you a wake up call.  You'd think that my high blood pressure and asthma would have been enough to kick me in the butt, but no, it was watching how my body moved when I walked and how much dysfunction there was there.  So, that's my story...how about you?  what's inspired you to make healthy changes?

Paleo?

So, I started feeling a little encouraged as I started drinking more water, cutting back on diet sodas, and going for my "no expectations" walks.  I knew I wanted to be able to do something more, but I wasn't sure what.  I knew weight watchers wasn't right for me.  It's a great program, helped a lot of people, but I had just tried it.  I have never really had any interest in the food programs where you order you weekly supply of frozen meals.  Ugh!  I'm sure they work, but again, not for me.  I wanted something that focused on real food, on foods with less processing, and on health.  Over the years, I've had 2 or 3 doctors recommend some form of carb restricting.  There is the South Beach diet, the Atkins, and I'm sure others.  Those were the two diets I was familiar with.  I had tried South Beach a couple of times, never managed to stick past the first phase.  As soon as I started the second phase, I would return to my old ways.  At this point, I had heard of Paleo but didn't really know anything about it.  I began my search by looking on Amazon for paleo books.  I found a copy of Robb Wolf's "The Paleo Solution".  I started by getting a free sample.  It was enough to interest me, but I still wasn't ready.  I wasn't even ready to commit to purchasing the book.  A couple of weeks later, I got an email from a friend, whom I met at weight watchers, saying that weight watchers wasn't working for her.  She stated that her and her family would be trying Paleo.  She sent a couple of links to food lists.  Somehow, this seemed like a sign to me.  What were the chances of looking into a "diet" only to have someone else suggest the same thing.  I looked over her food list and made the commitment to try eating Paleo for 30 days.  I don't imagine I could be in any worse shape at the end of those 30 days.  And, if it didn't work after 30 days, I can say goodbye.   I began my Paleo journey on July 26th.